Curse for a Bike Thief

Devils wielding implements which may include a fork, from Breviari d’Amor, Southern France (Toulouse?), 1st quarter of the 14th century, Royal MS 19 C I, f. 185v

So some lowlife stole my beloved purple mountain bike… as its Halloween I decided not to get mad, but to get even and curse the bastard.

Back in the middle ages, before the printing press, books took years to create. So, to have one stolen was beyond heartbreaking. Thus, the scribes occasionally included a curse at the front of the book to warn thieves of the consequences.

I have adapted the following curse for the bike thief…

“To steal my bike, if you should try,

It’s by the throat you’ll hang high.

And ravens then will gather ’bout

To find your eyes and pull them out.

And when you’re screaming ‘oh, oh, oh!’

Remember, you deserved this woe.”


Adapted from Marc Drogin’s “Anathema! Medieval Scribes and the History of Book Curses.”

More here from the British Library

And even more about book curses here and here